two great possibilities…

In the past four days, I have looked at over 25 apartments throughout Manhattan and Queens. I suppose that can make someone a little crazy but I felt it was necessary for me to get a sense of the market and to see just how much space you can get for your money. I woke up this morning with the feeling that I was going to find “it” and that intuition proved true as the day went on. But what I didn’t know was that God was opening up the potential for two different but equally wonderful choices.

A musician friend who used to work in St Louis has a large (again, by New York standards) studio apartment in Astoria. It’s a clean building on a quiet street but it is just one block from the 30th Street stop of the N/W trains. And it’s close to the most amazing variety of restaurants, ethnic groceries and fun, funky shops. Her boyfriend is moving into town so they are going to move into a bigger space in the same unit. Since she knew I was looking, she showed me the apartment and offered to talk to her landlord for me. This morning, as she dropped off a deposit for the new place, she left him a handwritten note recommending me as the next tenant. It must have been a glowing review because he called her back and told her that I should call. Several hours later I was in his office filling out an application to rent the place sans realtor’s fee! (Hallelujah!) If I want to commit to it, I need to bring my security deposit in the next day or two.

It’s a decent price for the area, not cheap but the watchword for this apartment is convenience! It’s 20 minutes to work and will be easy for shopping, eating, laundry and all the other essentials. And it’s a good place to get used to the change of lifestyle and pace. Though it’s not as much space as I would like, with a little imagination you can make it livable. (Though I’m sorry to report that visiting friends will not have much privacy!)

The second option came from a craigslist post that I responded to last Thursday. It is a 2-bedroom on the Upper East Side at 118th and Pleasant Street in “El Barrio” (also known as Spanish Harlem). It is four subway stops and a 6-block walk from work. The neighborhood is in transition but there is a local laundry, a grocery, and some other mom and pop stores are scattered within a few blocks. The apartment is on a dead end cobblestone street and is in a lovely building. A woman was reading a book on the front steps across the street, there was a old, large tree which gave character, and there were children playing in the area. It had a good feel. Nearby were several community gardens (the whole green space movement really took root in this part of Harlem in the 70’s) and also a casita, which is a little house where people can hang out and socialize. The apartment was lovingly and thoughtfully rehabbed and at about 700 square feet it is enormous for Manhattan. There is a rooftop deck with great views in most directions. It is more expensive than the studio but not so significantly that it would be out of reach. And it is large enough to comfortably house two people, so I could find a roommate and make things even more affordable.

But the joy of the day was talking to some of the neighbors in the area, especially a cheery woman (who turned out to be a Roman Catholic nun) who has lived in the neighborhood with a fellow sister for the past 25 years. We simply smiled at each other on the street, said hello and started talking! She told me that she feels safe and connected to others on the block and around her. She spoke about connections with other religious women in the community and a monthly liturgy. She has served as a pastoral musician. Her order’s Mother House is in (you guessed it…) St. Louis and she attended Maryville College (before it became a university). She mentioned that she attends St. Francis Xavier Church in the East Village which welcomes everyone to worship and service, including gays and lesbians. God couldn’t have put a more wonderful person in my path. In a city of 8 million people I am still amazed that we connected like we did. I shouldn’t be amazed, really…this is God’s doing not mine.

Of course, renting the apartment is not going to be as easy as I would like. While I was there, a couple with a child viewed the apartment for the second time and they really like it. Even though I expressed a strong interest to the agent (and earnest money!), the landlord will have the final choice. The realtor did mention the possibility of another renovated unit in the building, which would be ideal. But at this point, it is in God’s hands and I think that the situation is best left there.

Whether or not this second apartment works out, I am sure that either place holds the potential for deep connection to God and to others. One of the things I loved about my house in St. Louis was that it was, ultimately, not just a house – it was sacrament: a common thing that pointed me toward something deeper and more wonderful than I could imagine. And in some beautiful way, it kept me connected to the wonder and wildness that is God. I think the same can be true of the next place I live, if I open the eyes of my heart to find it.

Tonight I’m thankful for the goodness and generosity of friends and strangers. Thank you, Lisa and Sister Jan! It is an opportunity to marvel at the way that God has been in and through this whole, sometimes frustrating, apartment search. And I am also heartened that there is a place in this city that I will soon call home.

safe arrival…

It has been an adventure. Getting from one part of the country to another takes an enormous amount of energy and I didn’t necessarily take the shortest or easiest route possible. I left St. Louis on May 22 and drove south from St. Louis to North Carolina to visit my friend Bryan and my sister for a few days. Then I trekked northeast to spend some time with my parents in Pennsylvania. A rear wheel bearing on my car gave out just as I was pulling away from their house, providentially a half-mile from the nearest Ford dealership! A half-day repair and $400 later, I arrived at my grandparent’s house in Wallington, NJ. I drove into New York City on Thursday, dropped off some books and music and headed off to Ft. Lauderdale, FL the next day for a long weekend of rest and relaxation with my dear friends Barb and Diane. It was an incredibly renewing time, simply enjoying each other’s company, several movies (speaking of which, you MUST all see “Lars and the Real Girl”), great food and some time on the beach.

I flew back on Tuesday, took a day to gather my wits and to wrap up several house-related details, and then commuted into the office on Thursday to begin unpacking and orienting myself. Of course, while turning around to get a parking spot at the train station, I conveniently backed into a tree and scraped up my rear bumper. This is the car I am hoping to sell once I find an apartment in the city.

I worshipped at Park Avenue Christian on Sunday, June 8 and there was a deep sense of arrival. I didn’t jump right into leadership but was able to sit in the pews – praying, singing, and celebrating communion with the rest of the congregation. There were several moments in the service where I felt that interior “click” that I only know as the Holy Spirit – a confirmation that God brought has brought me to this place. And Rev. Jackson’s sermon on the Lectionary passage (the Genesis passage about God calling Abraham and Sarah to leave Ur) had my name written on it. It was a great reminder that the life of faith is about being called out of security and predictability and called into a Divine plan than we cannot always see clearly or understand.

Monday was my official first day, on which I conveniently broke my office computer while rearranging the furniture. So, the extra computer in the office became my temporary workspace, which gave me an opportunity to visit with the church secretary and to get to know the other staff a little better. We had our first choir rehearsal on Tuesday night – a wonderful time – and as I was taking the subway to the train station, I was quite unaware of the torrential storm with thunder, lightning and hail happening above. While pulling into Secaucus Junction transfer station (one stop away from my final destination) a voice came over the intercom announcing that all train travel was suspended indefinitely. Given that my grandparents were away, I called my uncle who lives nearby and he came to pick me up.

A much later night than expected was followed by an early morning drive to Laguardia Airport and a flight to St. Louis, where I spent three days packing up my house, cleaning and wrapping up all of the strands of my life in Missouri. It could only happen that on Thursday morning, while driving to the house in my friend’s car, a young driver pulled out in front of me unexpectedly and I had the very first car accident of my life. I was only going about 30 mph when I hit her and am very grateful that we both walked away without any injuries. But take the stress of moving, packing and all the other little mishaps of the past weeks and add a car accident on top…needless to say, I was slightly hysterical. And add the fact that it wasn’t my car!

Through the love and support of my friends, especially Bill, Mike, Richard, Leo, Ryan and especially Ed, who fortified me post-accident with donuts and coffee from World’s Fair Donuts (btw, the donut lady behind the counter has such an amazing, iconic face) we got the Pod packed, the house cleaned and closing documents signed. My cat, Izzy, and I had an uneventful trip back to St. Louis on Friday night and slept in on Saturday. Yesterday was my first Sunday at the Park and it was a great beginning.

Despite the fact that I am physically exhausted after such a full three weeks, there is so much to be thankful for:

…for safety – 1,500+ miles of cross-country driving without incident; a well-built Toyota Prius with functioning airbags; mechanics at the Ford dealership.
…for family – grandparents who have welcomed me into their home and are keeping me well-fed; an uncle who came to pick me up at the train station without a second thought; the network of friends in St. Louis who have loved me like a member of their family and demonstrated that in their words and actions.
…for the love and support of the staff and congregation at Trinity Presbyterian Church, who sent me to this new call with such amazing love and blessing.
…for the love and support of the staff and congregation at Park Avenue Christian Church, the enthusiasm with which they have welcomed me, and their faith that the ministry we do together will give witness to God’s amazing grace and love in NYC and beyond.

In some ways the adventure is just beginning: a new church, a new city, new challenges and possibilities abound. But if the past weeks have shown me anything, it is that God is in and through each moment.  Even the negative experiences have awakened a sense of gratefulness and attentiveness to the God who is always with me.

Transitions: the gift of a house

We’re one step closer toward closure here in St. Louis. The house has a contract on it. Over the past day I’ve been doing more packing and as I am surrounded by the boxes and the half-packed clutter, I am overcome with waves of gratitude. This house has been such an important part of my life over the past 2 years. Buying it was one of the most important choices I have made. It has grounded me and grown me in ways that I can’t exactly express.

- It has been a cozy, warm place that has given expression to my values, interests and loves.

- There have been friends coming and going, glasses of wine on the porch, conversations over the fence with my neighbors.

- There has been a garden in the backyard. I cherish memories of last summer’s madly growing tomatoes and the ongoing war with the brazen city squirrels who always got the best ones just before they were picked.

- There has been a cat in the house, whose growing affection and playfulness has been a source of comfort and delight.

- There has been peace with being alone – something that I have rarely experienced in my life. And I have not felt a need to fill the house up with stuff, but have taken from here and there, received special pieces, hand-me-downs and recycled treasures from friends.

- There has been a piano here, a gift from my dear friend, Cade, who passed away last March. And with it came a space to enjoy playing just for myself again, to stay up as late as I wanted lingering over Chopin, Bach and my own compositions.

In so many ways it is difficult to leave this place but I believe that this lovely house on Hartford Street will continue to bless its inhabitants. God brought me here for a reason and in this transition, I do not want to negate or minimize the tremendous sense of blessing that I have felt, the sense that I have been in the right place at the right time. So, I want to claim a moment of thanks to the God who has been with me in this house and who will be with me in the houses (and/or closet-sized Manhattan apartments) to come!

“O God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come,
Our shelter from the stormy blast and our eternal home.”