thoughts on Gay Pride

Several weeks ago, I marched in my first Gay Pride parade ever. For all intents and purposes I’ve been “out” for over 10 years but during that time have never attended a Pride parade, let alone marched in one. But the new congregation I am serving, Park Avenue Christian Church, is open and affirming to GLBT folks and has participated in the parade for many years. In fact, I recently learned that we were one of the first Disciples churches in the country to take a public stand for GLBT inclusion! That is definitely something to be proud of!

I initially thought I wasn’t going to march. Friends said that I really wanted to see the parade my first year (and believe me there is lots to see in a city like New York: go-go dancers, drag queens and divas galore.) But after worship I changed my mind and decided that I needed to be with my faith community as well as with the gay community. Why?

I was talking to a friend this afternoon and confessed that I sometimes struggle with this label: gay Christian. I am not embarrassed to say I am a Christian or gay man but I find that these two words have a sort of built-in tension, within and outside the church. There is a perception that you can only be one or the other. Gay culture has generally distanced itself from Christianity and from organized religion. Many gay folk have run away for good reason – because spiritual communities are (or are perceived to be) places where we will be condemned, not accepted or not taken seriously. But my coming out experience happened in the choir loft rather than a bar or the gay social scene. It was in the context of the Church that I was given the love, affirmation and strength to claim that God accepts me unconditionally as a gay man. The nurture and support of straight and gay people of faith has been a vital part of my journey toward wholeness, healing and integration.

Still, public displays like Pride parades have made me uncomfortable in the past. I’m not sure whether that feeling was motivated by my own fears and insecurities or a concern that I would somehow make my sexuality too much of a priority in my life. But I believe that God was in the last-minute decision to march this year. God was helping me to break down the false barriers that I have created around both my spiritual life and my sexual orientation. God was inviting me to see that life is not about the safe comforts of a label (gay, Christian or otherwise) but about faith. And faith is living between the labels; it is a dynamic, personal relationship with God within the context of community; it is cultivated through disciplines of study, listening and discernment; it is embodied through expressions of self-giving love, trust and freedom.

As we gathered with our brother and sister Episcopalians, Presbyterians and Methodists who were “flaming for Christ”, the Riverside Church float singing their hearts out, GLBT-affirming Buddhists who got us pumped up with great tunes, the Quakers with a gorgeous, rose-covered rainbow car, and many, many more…there was such joy and energy in the air. But I also felt the vital pulse of communities attempting to live and worship faithfully! Groups paused for prayer, to celebrate Eucharist together, to talk and and to compliment each others’ floats and materials. There was no sense of hostility, fear or denominational competition but a spirit of openness, solidarity and love for each other and for the people we were going to see on the sides of the street.

By the end of the parade (almost the end, actually, as I had to cut out a little early) I had handed out almost 1,000 stickers (Beloved, Believe, Belong, Be Gay) and smiles. But more significantly, I think I gained a new sense of confidence, maybe you can even say pride – not necessarily in my church or even in the gay community. It was a time to step out in faith and publicly claim the truth that God loves me as I am and is calling many, many others (regardless of the label) to lives of faith and love!